Identity Theft
by Deaths Lie
Summary: Misaki has a strange dream and is now questing if he really rolls that way. Come visit hi mind to see how sexually frustrated he really is. Warning: I may not have tagged this correctly.


I woke up today after a great dream about my imaginary boyfriend, that I haven't met anyone to be anything like. He had a resemblance to Saruhiko, but his personality wasn't anything like it. I guess his personality was sort of lie Mikoto's, but I mean he looked up to me. It wasn't like I was taller or had any physical change myself, but he was really tall. That's something I look at in both genders, them being taller than I.

I was a bit surprised to have found myself dreaming about an imaginary date, since it had never happened before. I guess, I wasn't as okay with Valentine's Day passing with me dateless, as I had thought. They were so perfect though and part of me longs to go to sleep just so I could be with them again.

Bleh! I feel stupid to be so mushy! I honestly guess I am a bit annoyed for my first imaginary date to be with a guy instead of a girl like what I said I was into. It wasn't true that I only liked girls or guys or something, I mean I like them both pretty evenly. I tend to like girls more than guys, but I guess that's because I am afraid to get rejected. I can't talk to girls, so really any gender will reject me; but I can act more 'normal' by liking girls more.

I guess times like these I wish I really only did like one gender, or was a girl. No than again being a girl would make it harder. Spotting gays is much easier than finding a girl who really does like girls with all those fakes out there. Now liking one gender would eliminate a lot of confusion though.

I guess I could be like Izumo and only like girls. But I can't say I don't check out guys when they take their shirts off. I could say I only like guy's like Saruhiko. But he is a basket of depression and refuses to admit his feelings really. He also seems to come off as either strait or A-sexual so that does nothing to help me decide. In the end I like both genders.

I can't say I like all genders, I don't mean to be mean, but the idea of having sex with someone with both parts doesn't sound pleasing. I can't really say I enjoy watching porn, since I tend to become a blushing mess. If I imagine laying down with someone I get really mixed up because I am so shy when it comes to stuff like that. When I imagine kissing someone I see myself with a guy, but sometimes a girl.

When I'm at the beach I get flustered watching the girls in bikinis, but then as appetizing as the dudes are without shirts I can't watch. Beaches are one of my favorite places, and least favorites. It is a place where an annoying boner is just around every corner.

I have a type of girl. I really like longhaired girls, with really pretty eyes. Now this doesn't mean I've never liked a girl who had short hair. I like when they are really cute. I tend to like girls that are about my height, maybe a bit shorter. But the cuteness, eye-catching rule still applies.

I also have a type of guy. I like dark, longish haired guys who have interesting eyes. I actually tend to be pickier about the body types of guys than for girls. Girls have this nice aspect of them that always seems different so I can't label it. But I like lean, muscled men who are obviously taller than me.

A good personality is a huge must. I guess they share about the same personality for either gender. One of my favorite personalities I have ever found was Mikoto's. He's super protective and seems really rough, but he is really sort of shy and quiet. If they can make me laugh and feel at home is a big thing. I sort of have never really spoken to that many girls, but I can tell you, I don't want a girl who reminds me of Anne. If we got close enough I wouldn't want to think of my creepy little sister in that way, so no chance there.

One of my favorite bodies for girls I have ever seen was this girl who had long brown hair that she wore down, with little bows tied around small pigtails. She wasn't too busty but she obviously had something there. She had a very nice um butt. She had been wearing short shorts that framed that and her legs well. She hadn't been wearing that tight of a shirt but her chest couldn't be over looked. And she had the most beautiful silver eyes I've ever seen.

When I think of an ideal body type for guys, I sadly think of Saruhiko. He may be an ass but he is pretty hot. I really, oh my gosh now he is just in my head, and I want to stab him for looking so good. He is pretty skinny, but he has a stomach made from the gods. That ass he hides is pretty delicious looking too. His eyes are so pretty if he'd just show them. His hair is so fluffy, soft, fun, and un-greasy unlike mine. If he wasn't such a prick I'd want to date him, but he is.

Mikoto is strong looking, but he is also unbelievably strong. He has a really interesting presence that I can't stop looking at, but it's not really something I think of. As far as interesting eye's go, he has them. He is undeniably hot, but Saruhiko just has that sex appeal that's off the roof.

I really hate how much Saruhiko has dedicated himself to being a jerk. When we were in school he wasn't really out going, at all. He has always been pretty lazy. He used to actually comb his hair, but now he keeps it so messy. I actually sort of like how messy it is. His style of dress is so douche bag it hurts. The leather cuffs, high neck collar crap, it all pisses me off and turns me on.

Saruhiko is just so fucking annoying though. Part of me wishes he could still be at HOMRA and not be a traitor bastard, just so I could have a reason to get him drunk and have sex. I am pretty sure I could duck tape his mouth and have sex with him. He used to always be sexually harassing me, but then I had only thought to get him off me.

I know he has a fuck partner who is pretty good looking. Now that I think about it his booty call is just about what I like. Too bad those dip-shits decided to be blue bitches. I really only keep crushes on guys since I only talk to guys.

Screw my insecurity to talk to chicks, but I need to start soon. Last woman I talked to was yelling at me for nearly plowing her down with my skateboard. She had been pretty good looking too, now that I think about it. She had huge boobs, a pretty killer ass, and blonde hair. Dammit she is Saruhiko's fucking boss, and Izumo already has dibs on her I think.

That's it I am going to go beat some thugs up, maybe find Saruhiko and either kill him or make-out with him. Wait no I didn't just think that. Fuck this shit I don't need a damn relationship when I got Homra and a hand.

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**Author's Note:** I originally wrote this as a Valentines treat, but then I didn't have it grammar checked before it was over so here is as a Whites Day gift. I hope you enjoyed sexually frustrated Misaki and thank you for evereything you don't realize you even do. And to make sure you aren't sexually frustrated as well, please review because I know how much no one can resist sexy Misaki Yata. ^.^


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